Heir to the Father's Love

Vacation

2006-08-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my family vacation on Friday. We went to Oregon and Washington. Visited one of my great uncles, went to a family reunion, checked out the towns my mom lived in when she was little, and camped a lot. There were some pretty interesting things I would like to share with you.

Family Reunion Camping Area had this sign that I got a kick out of.

This lovely restaraunt had a lovely sign too. Look closely at the red sign. If you can't read it it says "No food or drink"

There was something else but I just can't remember it. Sorry guys. If you want to see my trip pictures go here http://s39.photobucket.com/albums/e193/Meriliell/Vacation/

Ranting and Running

2006-06-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

So I'm back. My computer refused to load any pages that had anything to do with blogger. And we just recently got it fixed and I was so excited to find blogger working. Most of you probably think I am dead. And the other half gave up on blogs. Well things will be getting good for you guys who still have faith in me in the blogger world. I have a digital camera. School is out. And the combo of those two will create excellent things. Plus the best ninja ever is back in town so the ninja world will be doing crazy things to celebrate.

Anyways....I guess the whole computer death causing blog death thing was actually pretty good for me. Usually when I was upset I would come on here and rant which is good but I wa relying on you guys too much for encouragement. Not being able to post my rants forced me to go to God for my rants and for awhile there I was REALLY struggling. And instead of asking him for his help I avoided him. Funny how we run from the one thing that would truly help us. Anyways it was definitely good for me and now I am doing sooooo much better. And its summer so I can go to Burn without worrying. That name is fun to use to scare people. "Man I wish I could go to burn." "Why would you want to go burn?" "Why wouldn't you?"

Yeah I'm weird. I mainly just wanted to get a new post up here. And I will be changing my layout soon since this one exploded. Love you guys!!!

HECK YES!!!

2006-06-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

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2006-06-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

THE BLOG LIVES!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Confessions

2006-04-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

Not letting the blog die. Ok I am going to confess. In case you haven't already been able to tell I have been off and on depressed but I have been hiding the real reason.

I still love God. I still believe in him. But I am not IN love with him anymore. I don't know why. I wish I did. But because I am not in love with him anymore I am pretty bored with all of it. I am honestly bored of church and TAG. With all of it. I don't want to be and I don't want people to think I have gotten to this point so I kept trying to act like I was fine. I am trying so hard to get back to where I used to be and I think that I am kind of making it worse by doing that. I think I am going about it the wrong way. Prayers and advice would be awesome. I love you guys!

2006-03-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

I forgot to tell you guys that I am good now... So yes...I am good now.

Plan B here I come!

2006-03-01T11:41:00.000-08:00

Plan B by Five Iron Frenzy

"I fell asleep with my clothes on
Dropped my keys on the front lawn
Waking up I watch the drool a-gleaming
from my mouth to the carpet it is streaming

Chorus:
Giving up, it never felt so good
welcome to plan B
Giving up, what is the likelihood
life could be so free?

I’ll eat some moldy bread
then I’m going back to bed
I know how this day will crescendo
I’ll fall asleep while I play Nintendo

Up to now in my life I have failed
all I’ve tried, it’s too hard
I think I’ve found my calling now
laying down, in the yard
Don’t you cry Momma, don’t you even weep
‘cause you know your son excels at sleep."

Plan B is sounding pretty good right now. Life sucks! Highschool drama sucks! Friends suck. When you think you can rely on them they just keep letting you down. Even ones you have known for a lifetime and you have never been angry with, except over something miniscule. Even they can let you down. I don't know why I keep putting faith back into my friends thinking that another chance for them will change things. They ruin that chance everytime and I always end up crying myself to sleep again. it sucks! I am tired of being treated like crap and then being treated worse when I stand up for myself. I should be able to speak my mind and stick up for myself without having my friends turn their backs on me.

2006-02-24T18:17:00.000-08:00

I want to take donations. I have really been wanting to buy this awesome shirt for stephie. I saw it around Christmas time but couldn't afford it. About a week ago she told me how much she wanted it. To see it go here and you can zoom and everything http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/store/eww.shtml#

so yes donations much appreciated and definitely needed. Please comment and tell me if you would like to help and then you can give me the money at TAG or when I see you or something. Fun times. Stephie will love this so much and she deserves it so much!! Please help. Thanks guys!

Familly can suck but....

2006-02-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes family rocks. My great uncles, my aunt, my uncle, and my cousin are in town right now because we are giving my grandpa a birthday party tomorrow. Well my grandpa always finds it funny to call us while we are in the same room as him. So he did so to my cousin and of course she figured it out. Well then my great uncle George called my grandpa's house from his cell phone and started speaking in Spanish so my grandpa said the few German phrases that he knows and tries to pass off the phone to my uncle and told him to speak Hawaiian to him. Anyways my grandpa keeps talking to him and eventually my Uncle George starts speaking in English and saying that he is one of President Bush's closest advisors and they are going to be in town next week. My grandpa says he's for Al Gore even though he's not and then they keep talking. A few minutes later he realizes that its my Uncle George who did this all while sitting in the same room as my grandpa. It was hilarious!!

2006-02-14T15:36:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!
I Love You Guys!

Good Talks and White Ninja

2006-02-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

That one made me laugh a lot. Stephie always uses the word veluptuous.

If they are too hard to read then go read them at www.whiteninjacomics.com

Sarah and I had a really good long talk today. I appreciate her so much! Please be praying. I really don't have a relationship with my brother Paul and I really want one. Supposedly he is longing for one too and so I am going to see if he wants to hang out sometime soon, but he's not a Christian so sometimes its hard to sit there and listen to him give his opinion on things. But I love him so much and he seems to think that if I had the option of saving his life or the life of a certain friend then I would pick the friend over him. And that is definitely not true. Well please be praying. I love him so much.

I forgot how much I love white ninja. Thats why I bombarded you with a bunch of white ninja. Hi yah!

I was forced! hehehe

2006-02-04T10:31:00.000-08:00

Ok I have been told to post. not asked....told. Well I don't really have much to talk about but I always say that and as soon as I start typing I have something to say. Anyways

It is terrible. You know when you have a browser opened but you have it all minimized and it shows the website or part of a website you are on....well if you don't oh well. well when I logged onto blogger I was in another browser so all I could see was the little bar with the words on it. It said Dashboard and I immediately thought Dashboard Confessional as in the emo band. Ashley...you did this to me!!!!!

ok here is something else to keep you entertained

Date: Feb. 4, 2006 10:41 AM
Subject: 2x2

Two Names You Go By
1. Julieanne
2. Julie

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Scottish
2. Irish (I always think that its ironic. oh and I'm english)

Two Things That Scare You
1. stephie and I talked about it, plagerism...I'm afraid I might accidently plagerise
2. not becoming everything God has for me to be

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. clothes
2. cell phone (i would have said chapstick but I lost mine about a week ago when I was cleaning my room....yes I was cleaning my room!)

Two things that you are wearing right now
1. pink shirt (I almost wore Krisann's Five Iron shirt that I found in my room but I decided against it.
2. pants (pants are good)

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (*at the moment*)
1. Five Iron will always be the best
2. Thousand Foot Krutch

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than real Love)
1. honesty
2. the same passion for God and for us to continue to push each other in our relationship with him

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You About the opposite Sex. (I'll just copy Krisann cause her's are good)
1. a masculine strength carried internally
2. passionate

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies (LATELY)
1. computerizing
2. and stressing over video project

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. to go to Brazil
2. to be as close with God as I used to be

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. New Zealand
2. Germany (I went when I was 3 and I don't remember a thing so I want to go back and visit all the same places plus more maybe)

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. be really frickin good at dancing
2. speak many languages fluently

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. Krisann cause she inspired me to do this survey and she's awesome
2. video project meeting in 30 minutes

Two Stores You Shop At
1. Walmart
2. Kohl's when I have money

Two people you haven't talked to in awhile
1. I talked to Krisann a couple days ago but it was short
2. Les

Two of the websites you visit a lot
1. gmail
2. myspace (now I want to go look at white ninja)

Two cars you owned
1. ha haha
2. hahahahahahahahaha

Two pets you had/have
1. Chloe she is my punk 2 year old dog who is sooooooo cute!!!
2. Houdini, he's a turtle that likes to disappear a lot and sit on his rock all day (I decided to go with the pet's that are still alive)

Two Favorite Sports (to play)
1. sock puppet dance-offs (that was Krisann's but it sounds fun to me)
2. taquito rolls (haven't played in awhile, apparently haley got like half the band to play it last year....that's how awesome you are Krisann)

Two People who will fill this out
1. ashley
2. stephie if she gets computer (i would have said Krisann but she already filled it out)

Two things you did last nite
1. video project meeting
2. watched dateline with my mom while getting frustrated at the stupid yarn I was learning to knit with

Two shows you like to watch currently
1. Lost (I'm obsessed
2. American Idol? no no no Gilmore Girls!!!!!

Have a fun day guys! I gonna go eat a chicken bake!

I want to dance like a monkey....for the Lord....but I want to be able to dance like that too!

2006-01-04T18:29:00.000-08:00

I googled the crap out of these! These are things that are really on my heart.

2006-01-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

I Heart Rain

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">

I want to go to Brazil really bad! Definitely before I graduate.

I want to take really awesome pictures like this. I want to capture all the beauty that God has created.

2005-12-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

I want to worship...

2005-12-15T17:21:00.000-08:00

I want to be able to worship God with simple, beautiful photos....In other words be a photographer
I want to be able to not only worship God with a dance where there is one arm swinging but in a way that we would consider "professional"
I want to be able to worship God by playing the violin like I have played forever
I want to be able to worship God by serving others in places like Brazil
I want to be able to just worship him in every way forever, no distractions...

"I feel like the weight of the world is all crashing down on me.
Somehow I just don't believe this is how it is supposed to be.
And all this expectation on the way I'm supposed to live
becomes my mind's distraction.
I've nothing left to give.

You said your burden is light and your load is no more.
You said your ways are right and in you I would soar.

I wanna be free. Free to dance and free to sing, free to live and love and free oh free to me.

I feel like my heart is beating down into the ground.
In you I'm longing for some peace to be found.
I know the heaviness that's making me
Its stealing my youthful soul and making me cold.

You said your burden is light and your load is no more.
You said your ways are right and in you I would soar.

I wanna be free. Free to dance and free to sing, free to live and love and free oh free to me.

I wanna be free. Yeah. Free to dance and free to sing, free to live and love and free oh free to me.

I wanna be free. Free to dance and free to sing, free to live and love and free oh free to me.
I wanna be free. Free to dance and free to sing, free to live and love and free oh free to me.

Free...."

-Free by Shawn Mcdonald.

The Chronicles of Narnia

2005-12-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

If you have read my below post then you would know that I have been reading the Chronicles of Narnia. I actually I just started Tuesday and have already finished "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" and I have 40 pages left in "The Magician's Nephew." this is the first time I have ever read them.

Let me first say...Oh wow! There is so much I am learning and so much being confirmed. I love it. OK I have always known that the books are very symbolic of life with God just like the Lord of the Rings. But wow! I love it. You sit there and read about this beautiful fairy tale world full of adventure, love, beauty, war, peace (ironically there is both), and all the typical fairy tale stuff. You sit there and think "If only..." But then you get slapped across the face by the story. WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOKS THEN YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ THE BELOW SECTION. Next thing you know there is a lion named Aslan who takes the place of someone else and dies and then rises again. Bam! That is so Jesus right there. Then you experience the creation of the world with so much more detail. If you thought you could picture it before here's a possibly deeper look. It is so beautiful. You go from dreaming about living in this story and you realize you are in the heart of it. Can you imagine? Jesus gave us the perfect fairy tale world. Everything we all wish for is right here and there is a bonus around the corner. You know the typical fairy tale story. Adventure, war, love...But the battles are fought the enemies slain and the war is over...Now you truly are in that perfect place...Heaven! Just keep on fighting the battle guys! Our reward is so near.

In reading I constantly find myself laughing either because the stuff they are saying is SO true or just because its so hilarious...For example tonight I was reading in "The Magician's Nephew" Digory, Polly, and Fledge (Strawberry) are talking about how come Aslan didn't give them dinner. Did he know to? They came to the conclusion that he did know but in the words of Fledge he likes us to ask.

"Wouldn't he know without being asked?" said Polly

"I've no doubt he would," said the Horse. "But I've a sort of idea he likes to be asked."

Keep in mind that they are talking about Aslan. Keep in mind that Aslan is Jesus!!! He likes to be asked!!! So ask him. He loves to please us.

Oh man back a little in the story Digory is upset because he wants to find something to help his Mother heal. When he asks for something Aslan looks at him with huge tears in his eyes.

"My son, my son," said Aslan. "I know. Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet."

He feels our sorrow! He knows what grief is. Find comfort in his arms.

SAFE POINT FOR LAMEO'S LIKE ME WHO HAVEN'T READ "THE LION, THE WITCH. AND THE WARDROBE" OR "THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW."
Ok I could go on for hours so I really must stop. I love these books!! Read them!!

P.S. Check out the new "verse" under the "Daddy's Girl" picture. Not exactly quoted directly from the Bible, but the concept of it is definitely in the Bible.

Fun times and I'm actually writing a real post not like one that tells me I'm Stephen

2005-12-07T19:27:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" Fun!! First time I have ever read it...I know I'm pretty lame. But then again am I still lame if I read it in less than 24 hours while also juggling sleep, school, homework, and caffeine withdrawals?

Yes caffeine withdrawals. Basically I get a headache every day at about two and the medicine works for about an hour and then it kicks in again and the medicine bottle says to wait 4-6 hours. WHAT DO MEDICINE BOTTLES KNOW ANYWAYS? Its not like they have brains. Yes....Caffeine withdrawals are really lame like me.

I got a cutsie haircut (I almost spelled butsie!! Whoops!) its not up to my chin but its mid-neck and its parted to the side and its short and I like it a lot!! If I had a digital camera I would post pictures. Oh and expect random pictures because we just got a scanner. That's right! Scanner in the may house!! woot woot or in the words of Haley and I high on sugar voota voota!! Love you guys!

P.S. If anyone feels like painting come on over!! I need to get my room painted by next weekend at the latest because I also have to move furniture. or I won't get my new room for about 1-2 months. Lame(tron...shut up Sarah and Andrew Kidd!!)

P.S.S. I love Sam!! She's awesome and I barely even know her. She's going to be my best friend. yep yep yeppers!

oh man! this calls for a great deal of laughter!

2005-12-07T19:22:00.000-08:00

You are Stephen! You're the most introverted member
of the community. You know all the in's and
out's of any video game, fantasy books... or
anything involving swords... or ninjas. you
like ninjas.

What homestead character are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sometimes you just need to scream about what you want

2005-12-02T15:49:00.000-08:00

That is what this is...Please pray for me! I really want these things but only if it is God's will.

I want to go to Brazil within the next year or two!!!
I want to go to Bethel right after high school!
I want to be in band but be able to go to TAG every week!!! (I realize its not possible and I need to make a decision)

What is wrong with me? I want to be so close to God again but I don't know how to get there. I am so thirsty but I need the fellowship that I had at TAG. I really need to go but I can't go for the next two weeks because of Christmas parades. And I know this sounds selfish but I really want it to rain...HARD....So the parade will be cancelled and I can go to TAG. I really need to go now!! Please also be praying because I am going to talk to my parents about going to Vineyard officially. I love the fellowship at PRCC but I disagree with a lot of things there. I have always felt welcome and loved and free at Vineyard. Plus I really like the way that Roger teaches. Please be praying!!

Don' Forget!

2005-11-25T11:09:00.000-08:00

Woship and prayer @ my house. Come about 4:00-4:30 om Saturday. Bring cd's, bible's, and a willing heart.
I hope you all can come!

2005-11-24T16:08:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

"It's the turkey! "

Fun times in the land of Drama!!!

2005-11-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

Read the post below before you read this!!

So if some of you don't really want to talk at the meeting or agree with Ashley's 2nd comment (great point ash) don't worry!! I think we will mainly just worship and pray together. If God leads us to do something else then we will go from there. Please bring CD's for worship and inform anyone who is bad about reading blogs. They NEED to know about the meeting. Ok Love you guys! Oh and remember to RSVP because I need to know if I should reschedule (thanks Ashley and Kenny!)

Now for my little blab on TAG

2005-11-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

Ok I haven't been to TAG in awhile because of band so I don't know about much of the drama that is going on right now. All I know is what I've been told which isn't much. ok I miss TAG so much!! If you are one of the people who have currently decided that you are better off without TAG and church for now....THINK AGAIN!!!

I am so dry right now. I want to be close to God again but I don't have the motivation. I should be at church right now but of course I am not!!! Not going to church will make all of these situations worse. Please you guys! This is really breaking my heart. I am seeing all of my friends fall apart and point the finger at the person that they are the closest to. Why? Things like this have happened before.

Remember that meeting that Sarah and Andrew held before TAG that one time. We talked and then we prayed together. But as soon as we walked out of that room we picked up our grudges, anger, and distrust for each other again. Why? We can't just let this keep happening. Therefore I am calling a meeting. Please come to my house on Saturday the 26th @ 4:00. That is in two weeks before TAG. It is also during Thanksgiving break. I want everyone to come!!! Please leave me a comment or something saying whether or not you can come. I will reschedule if there are too many who can't make it. I know a lot of you will not want to come. Please do. We can't let ourselves be torn apart like this. I realize this meeting could be very painful. But we need to do something. I love you guys!!

guest post by keri

2005-11-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

hey julie! i hope you like your new layout. it's not quite as cool in IE, but is still pretty okay. i don'tk now how to fix the weird random problem. so, since it's not huge- i'm leaving it! haha!

anyway. love you julie!!!

you're a princess!

Thank you's and Rants for the day

2005-11-06T17:30:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all who responded to my last post. It made me really happy and I almost cried with all the love and support I was receiving. I was going to go leave separate comments on each person's blog but those were some long comments from Kristy and Krisann (haha "kris") and I had a feeling I would respond with some long comments also and then where would be. I'll tell you where we would be...we would be lost in a jungle of ginormous comments.

rant time!! for all you computer geeks who are mad at the world! grrrr! I'm mad at you. stop phishing me. that's right phishing. "oh look at us! we are so totally ebay! and you so need to give us all you information right this second so we can steal your identity...ahem... I mean so you won't lose you account and...your life!! oh you don't believe us then why don't you buy some viagra!! or read an email about cialis and then buy some stuff. better yet let us take over you awesome gmail account and spam you for all of eternity. we really are nice guys! be our friend...buy some viagra and give us your identity. have a nice day!" grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! I am a victim....not of identity theft (close though) but of some random meanie who decided to try and phish me!

ok now have a nice day....or week...or month....or something until I post next! completly random!

What to do? What to do?

2005-11-03T16:59:00.000-08:00

Just because you all hate word verification as much as I do doesn't mean you should stop commenting me all together! haha love you guys! Um ok update...Band practice is soon. I don't know what to do. I am already thinking about classes for next year and I don't know if I should take band. Its been really rough spiritually. I love it...I really do! But I never see anyone (unless they are in band) and I can't go to TAG, I am missing all this awesome stuff at TAG, when I do go to church its usually at PRCC and I am always working with the little kids in the back. ALWAYS!! I'm only supposed to work in the back for a month and then have two months off but we have a shortage of teachers and so I get sucked into working back there for about 2 and a 1/2 months and then the half that I'm not working is when I usually am not there due to band. Its really annoying.

which is another thing. I don't want to work back there. I don't feel like I'm making a difference. I don't feel that the kids are learning anything. The lesson plans really suck! But we can't change them because of the shortage of teachers. We have the same lesson plan for kids from kindergarten all the way up to 5th grade. That's a big difference in age and sometimes its too easy and sometimes its too hard for them. So anyways I don't want to work with them. They drive me nuts and I'm not making a difference. But I can't quit. We already have a huge shortage of teachers and me quitting would make a bigger difference.

back to band. I am not close to god right now. I sometimes spend time with him, but I need the fellowship and encouragement of others on a regular basis. I don't have that now. Because of band. Plus I don't think I can really fit it into my schedule next year. I definitely can if I take summer school. But I want to do camp Hapitok and I want to keep it open for Jesus Culture. I don't even need to say why I want to keep Jesus Culture open. Most of you already understand.

what should I do? What should I do for spirit currently? Ah!!!! I just need to scream. I want to be back in the arms of my Jesus. I will have a great time with him one night and then its back to my busy schedule in the morning. Any advice?

Inspired by Krisann!

2005-10-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

Most definitely instand fun! If you would please scroll down just a bit and look to the right side of the screen you will see a Babel fish translator. Its name truly fits itself. You can spend countless hours coming up with random lines and translating them in to numerous languages. Then you translate it back to English and see what ridiculous thing it says. For Example today I typed in "Andrew peed blood." And just translating it from English to Greek, to French, to Spanish, back to english. I learned that Andrew is the blood. Yes indeed he is! Now go have some instant fun for yourself. Quote song lyrics or just come up with something original. You just may learn that Andrew is the blood. Have a nice day!

New Title

2005-09-27T12:12:00.000-07:00

Keri is super awesome and is making me a super awesome new template. It has this super awesome picture and is going to be super awesome. Surprising eh? Anyways along with this super awesome template we need a super awesome title. Well Keri is feeling dark and wants to make cute princess crowns of death so we all know that she cannot be responsible for such a thing as a title. (haha! love you Keri!) Ok so the theme is about being a princess in God's kingdom. I NEED A GOOD TITLE!!! So far I have:

-Princess in God's Kingdom
-Heir to His Love

Ideas?

Lost in Blog Death

2005-09-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

Dang it! It looks like I've lost all my links. Could you guys all leave me a comment with your url? Thanks! love you guys!

Save yourselves!

2005-09-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Are you being attacked by those annoying anonymous ads? Well guess what I saved myself before it started. Log in to blogger, go to settings, comments tab, and then select for the wordsense thing to be on. You will definitely be safe if you do so. Have fun with that.

For Keri!!!!

2005-09-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

um....help?

I WILL DELETE YOU!

2005-09-02T12:08:00.000-07:00

forgot to say: I want to update my links soon to go with my new template that I will be getting eventually. So if you are never ever going to blog again in your life...then tell me please. If you have a new blog or want me to add someone's link please inform me. If you rarely update and you don't tell me to save your link within a month then I will delete you! Love you guys!

2005-09-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

Wow! Thanks Stephen for reminding me that Elijah List still does exist. It was so encouraging and awesome to read one of the words on there especially when I'm at school. If you haven't read the word about the hurricane then click here.

recently in history we started learning about overpopulation. I realize its a serious problem, but I don't really care. Yeah if God tells me to help fix it then sure I'll do what I can, but I know he's coming one day and the more people he has for his kingdom the better. So in a way overpopulation is a great thing! I would love to be crazy rockin' out worshiping with billions of people. Think of all those people that are starving right now and when they die they will be feasting. It's so cool to think about.

So...Um...Stephen's coming! I just found out last night. Anyone know is he is bringing anyone? Do I need to clean my room? (oh please no!) I am open to people coming but not cleaning my room. On to a new subject!!!

Please Please be praying!!! Last year I hurt my back a couple times, but it was fine. It would feel like I had pinched a nerve but it only hurt for about 5 minutes. Well lately I have been hurting it multiple times a week. I hurt it Tuesday at Band practice from moving wrong but then I hurt it again last night (Thursday) when I stood up. I was sitting on the ground and I stood up and it hurt it!!!!!! My dad is making an appointment with a chiropractor today to see if maybe I have something out of alignment. Please be praying. The pain may be short when it happens but it is really really painful!!!! Ok well that's all I have time for now. Love you guys!

So I busted out the Five Iron...

2005-08-27T15:17:00.000-07:00

I was feeling kind of sad today after feeling so good last night. In movies a girl is often is all happy and can't stop smiling, and loves everything, she loves rolling down the car window and just smelling the wind and feeling it on her skin. Well then the other characters in the movie are like "oh who's the guy? Are you in love?" well I felt like one of those girls in the movie last night. And yes I'm in love. And the guy is a dear friend of mine by the name of Jesus. On the way back from Bobby's party last night I rolled down the window and just enjoyed the crisp air. I'm usually not one for smelling the rain because I can never find that oh so special smell but last night I was smelling the wind. haha oh man. Anyways that all quickly ended when we pulled up in front of Haley's house and the first thing that happened when I opened my eyes was her dog Simba doing his usual snorting/whining thing. Yeah snorting/whining usually ruins special moments. Anyways....Today I felt kind of sad. I bet you can all guess what I did to fix that if you look at my title...That's right! I busted out the five iron. btw did I loan anyone my "proof that the youth are revolting" CD or my Five Iron Frenzy End is Here CD.

goodbye yall! I love yall! And In the words of Reese Roper "Hooray for school...And the guy who looks like Colonel Sanders!"

hrm...my hands smell like meat

2005-08-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

so school has started. not fun! I am in computers. maybe that will get me to post more. but I can't seem to figure out if they have blogger blocked or if the computer I use is just being dumb like it has been every day so far and won't load the page. I don't know. I just was reading ashley's blog when I realized my hands smell like meat from making my sandwich. I thought it would make a great blog title and I just couldn't resist. Btw man...Bobby Landon is another year older and I still don't have my cd. Good day

2005-08-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

Oh wow that was a close one! I tried to sign in and it said incorrect password. Well if any of you have heard about what happened to Stephen's blog then you will understand why I almost shook my fist in defiance at Ashley and Chris. Basically last I heard was that they changed Stephen's password as a joke but now he can't sign in at all and it has to be redone from scratch.

Anywhoo! I was told to blog more for the most important one in the world. haha! So I just finished band camp. Oh man am I exhausted!! And yes...I am in band. I was for four years but I took a break last year. This year will be great. I am really sunburned though. Yes I wore sunscreen but I just stopped reapplying after the first week. My skin is now a total of 8 different colors just on my neck and shoulder.

I don't really have anything to say except that I'm not looking forward to school. And on Monday I'm going to go stand in a two hour line to see if my counselor will fix my P.E. class since they placed me in one I did not sign up for and I will me miserable in it all year. So please pray that they will change it because they technically will only give schedule changes if you were placed in the wrong ACADEMIC class and P.E. isn't exactly academic. Oh well! Love you guys!!

happy now krisanny? haha

2005-08-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

ok I need to finish this post on the last day of Jesus Culture before I forget it. I'm going to start with the night session.

Worship was awesome. Towards the end though I became really upset. I really want to just get taken away. I want third heaven experiences. I have wanted them for a long time and everytime I ask God he tells me to be patient because his timing is perfect. Well I finally got impatient and got really upset. I was on my knees bawling and I started to get really angry at God. I was even yelling at him. Eventually I got up and went to the bathroom to "freshen up." I was really just trying to get away from having to face God after yelling at him. I went back and tried to worship but couldn't because I was just so angry. I saw everyone around me worshiping and getting awesome experiences. I really wanted that and so that made me want to cry more but I held it in. After worship I asked Stephie if she would go over to the prayer house with me.

We went and unfortunately it was closed during the service (which I think is stupid especially since it is supposed to be 24 hours). However there are trails and benches and trees and stuff surrounding the building. Steph and I walked around a bit and found a trail that was away from all the people WHO WERE JUST GOOFING AROUND UP THERE!!! Plus there was two benches! So we layed down on them and I yelled at God some more. Eventually I was so tired of doing this and I had to go to the bathroom. So I left still upset but not angry anymore. However I decided I wasn't talking to God.

So I went back into the conference and listened to a super awesome message. It was basically about what I had been wanting. Afterwards we were all just waiting on God and asking him to give us heart transplants. Before long I was repenting. I was apologizing and feeling extremely foolish. It was awesome except I didn't get to really spend much time with God because I kept falling asleep. So anyways....I was no longer mad at God. And I did grow through this.

In the past when I was angry with God I would just pretend I wasn't. Well now at least I can come to him and I am willing to yell at him. I don't have to worry about offending him. Anyways everything is good and I'm back to trusting his timing. Goodnight everyone!

Jesus Culture 2005

2005-07-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

The Hawaii series is officially dead. Go read about it on Stephen's blog. Anywhoo! It is dead because I am now starting the Jesus Culture series. Whoo hoo!

Day 1: long long drive, checking into a hotel, realizing that the elevator feels unsafe, realizing that the air conditioner in the hallways is not working, hanging out with Katie, eating cardboard pizza from a mall, surprise attacking Krisann and nearly getting her fired, swimming in a pool, hanging out with Katie some more, and them dyeing ashley's hair while I sleep. Freezing to death in my sleep and waking up fairly often to think about how deathly cold it was. (that's odd in redding)

Day 2: sleeping in a little bit. Eating yummy breakfast. Eating yummy lunch with Katie. Going to Bethel, standing in a long line, getting ok seats, awesome worship, awesome teaching by Lance Jacobs then another awesome teaching by Linda McIntosh, dinner, even more awesome worship and awesome teaching by Banning Liebscher. Back to the hotel!!!

Day 3: wake up! Eat! City invasion!!! muhahahaha. So we went and did outreach on Thursday. We went to the skate park/crazy cool pool/ river/ fish ladder thingy. We did face painting, balloon not animals, and free food. Jacob and I were paired up to go be the hookers..uh..I mean..Catchers. haha. We didn't really talk to anyone, but instead prayed over the park. We went back and I got my face painted with a blue rose. I just let the lady do what she wanted to and it was awesome because I have gotten lots of words about roses and flowers. Then we went and had lunch. After we went back to the church and did workshops. I went to the one taught by Linda McIntosh. It was on a life of intimacy. It was really good. Then it was awesome worship and awesome teaching by Jennifer Toledo. She was great. Then dinner. Then some more really awesome worship where Sarah and Stephen both threw up. Then awesome teaching my Todd Bentley. Then very late bed time

Day 4: the final day! I will finish this one later because it could end up being very long. Love you guys!

2005-07-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

No one seems to want to comment on my story of Sir Andrew. I know I know. You guys think that it is way too long to read. well it is long but it is definitely worth your time. so read! and comment!!

My Daddy and Me!

2005-07-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

Awesome stuffs! OK my dad and I are doing much much better. He came home from work and was really depressed. I asked him how his day had been and he said that it was terrible because he couldn't help but think of how he had yelled at me. He had written me a note while he was at work so at that point he handed it to me. It was so sweet! I got up to give him a hug and we hugged for about 5 minutes. Both of us were crying. I haven't had a moment like that with my Daddy in a very long time. Now he is out of town until Thursday so please pray that when he comes back everything will still be awesome between us. Thank you for all of your prayers!!!

"I...am....CONCUSSION MAN!!"

2005-07-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

I'm lame....And feeling a lot better. Sometimes I just need to rant and let it all out like that. So thank you for putting up with it and sorry that you do put up with it. You guys don't ever have to read posts like that. I just need to put them on here so I can bite my lip and not scream at anyone. I like blogging. The angry typing it takes to produce such a post really relieves a lot of emotions. Sleep does that too but instead of going to bed enraged I can go to bed hurt and not feeling good. It may not sound good either way but the second one is better...Trust me.

So how is everyone? Just to let you know I will probably never finish the Hawaii series. It is already boring. haha!

Hopefully I will be going swing dancing tonight. I just need to finish cleaning my room. I am almost done. I am taking a break right now. haha Steph!!! hehehehe

ok well I love you guys and in case you couldn't tell that story about Sir Andrew is based on true events. He really did get a mild concussion and will now on be known as Concussion Man. So here's the real story.

We were swimming...In the dark. Andrew tried to race Sarah came up and hit his head. Sarah asked me to go ask Stephen to check symptoms of a concussion. He gave me six of them originally. Andrew had four of them. So we got him out and then checked some other websites for more reasons. He matched about half of them. Long story short...He went to emergency room and came back with the diagnosis of a mild concussion. Please pray for Vera's finances. Thank you!

I will talk to you all another time. Adios!

2005-07-10T22:36:00.000-07:00

I can't stand to be around my Dad anymore. It's always about him. He is just randomly a jerk and then tries to make us feel guilty for it like its our fault. I'm tired of him taking his anger out on my dog when she does the smallest thing. I'm tired of seeing my Chloe afraid of him like that. I'm tired of trying to force myself to love my Dad so he will feel special and won't be a jerk. I can't handle this anymore. I know I need to show him love, but I can't stand it. I just want to be a jerk back to him. I want to yell at him. I want to make him cry and be scared. I want to see him suffer. But I feel so bad for thinking like this. I don't know what to do. He never seems to change. It just gets worse. He will try to pray with me after situations like this and I can't stand it. He will try to explain to me the ways Satan tries to make us angry at each other. BUT I KNOW IT BETTER THAN HIM!!! I believe in spiritual warfare....all aspects of it. He doesn't! He just believes in the basics no matter what verses I show him. I can't stand it! I hate praying with him! I hate talking about God and supernatural things with him! For the most part I hate talking to him. Why do I feel this way? He's my daddy. I'm supposed to love him. I don't feel like I do. And I know that he can sometimes see this...and it hurts him but it hurts me too. I know God can heal my dad and me, but why is this still going on then? I know his timing is best but I can't deal with this anymore. I am tired of biting my lip when my dad is mad. I want to speak my mind. I want to scream back. I want to be able to throw things like him. I want to be able to be a jerk back to him. I want to do all of this without feeling guilty. But that's not possible. I can't stand it.

Let's take a vote...shall we?

2005-07-08T13:33:00.000-07:00

Ok if you have not heard of the new idea of a Family Meeting or a Bible Study then ask me and I will gladly explain. Anyways the meetings and the bible study are pretty much going to be on the same nights along with some worship. The question is, however, what night shall it be? Wednesdays and Thursdays are the options. Thursdays have been said to be a great night because it gives us all another reason to hang out during the week, which could end up being a problem when school starts. Lets just stick to summer right now though :) Wednesdays have been said to be a great night because it could be a replacement for Malibu Brew. Malibu Brew is awesome but Ashley and I don't really see ourselves being spiritually encouraged by it. We need to be spiritually encouraged right now!!! Ok so vote. Even if you are not involved I would like to hear your opinion. The polls are now open.

Hawaii: The Series- Day 1

2005-07-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

Day 1 in the land of Hawaii is the day that we left the beautiful town of oaks- Wednesday, June 22. We left early that morning for our wonderful ride to the town of Saint Francisco. Once we got there we did all the fun security stuffs like watching my Grandpa be frisked and my Dad's bag be searched. What did we all learn through this? Don't pack a hand exerciser in your carry on...It will be confiscated. Remember to also empty ALL of our pockets. Remove your glasses and the cleaning cloths wrapped in aluminum. Then remove your shoes unless you wearing flip flops with a thin platform. Following these simple rules will help you to safely make it through airport security.

After all of that fun we sat in the airport for many fun hours. We watched from the window to see if they would throw our luggage however we were watching the wrong loading conveyor belt. Hooray!

We boarded the airplane and got to ride for a fabulous 5 hours!!!! Wee! We then landed in Honolulu and then took another plane over to the big island. That flight took another hour but this time we got free juice!! When we landed we were greeted by my aunt and uncle who had brought leis for us. Then we got the rental car and loaded our small, stupid, SMALL, Ford van with luggage and people. We also had to use my aunt and uncles car for extra luggage. This is a very important detail for later. We got to our beautiful condo and got slightly set up. Then we went out for some real Hawaiian Cuisine...Burger King!!! haha then we went to bed. yep and that is day 1

The Great Legend of Sir Andrew the Wise and his....well you will just have to wait and see

2005-07-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in the great land of oaks was a noble, brave, and wise young man by the pseudonym of Sir Andrew the Wise. He was noble, brave, wise, extremely fast in swimming....but one day he gained a new trait. This new trait was not as great as a new trait would seem. This trait was.....(no can't tell you yet!)

One day Sir Andrew was bathing in his royal natatorium when a terrible incident occured. Behold!!! Sir Andrew had been racing against time and time finally caught up to him. You see time is a very revengeful and tragic quantification. Sir Andrew had ignored his great wisdom and had given in to the temptation of racing time. Being an extremely dexterous swimmer he of course accomplished the task that he had set out for. But then time unleashed its wrath upon Sir Andrew's *ahem* shall I say buttocks? It caused him to lambaste his precious and wise head upon the angry side of the basin. You see the basin also has a fiery wrath. Dearest Sarah Mae ran to his side and held him in her loving prosthetic devices(...hey! IT WAS THAT OR FLIPPERS!!) She caressed his precious and wise head. She quickly learned that his wisdom was dwindling due to the wrath of time. Sarah the Prophetic Prosthetisis called for succor. I being Julieanne the Bob ran to find someone who would be of more wisdom for such a situation as this. It was then that I found Stephen the Computer Knowledgable One. He quickly used his skills to distinguish what exactly time had done to Sir Andrew. Discovering how powerful Time's acrimony is we rushed Sir Andrew out of his tarn and laid him into a mini-tarn (available at Wal-Mart...today!)

It is here that we slowly began to realize that time had done more damage far more than unconjecturable. We pulled out the books of wisdom (more commonly known as "Your Child: A Medical Guide, The Illustrated Medical & Health Adviser") We telephoned his one and only comfort....His mommy. Lady Vera the Pulchritudinous rushed to our domiciliary. She saw the treacherous state he was in and the desperation he held in his big blue eyes. They ran off into the darkening horizon, but for Sir Andrew it was only brightening as he fell down the long tunnel of death. Julieanne the Bob, Stephen the Computer Knowledgable One, Acclectic Ashley (ashley the invinsible....), Chris the Stolit (Sir Dann...?), Stephie the Incredible Ciabatta all desperately waited in vain for the news of Sir Andrew's returning wisdom. (Please understand that it is very difficult for our poor little narrator to type while she has an Ashley on her lap... MUAH HAHAHA!!!!) (please... continue...)

Before long Sir Andrew returned in a terribly weary state. He layed his wise head upon his brave pillow and quickly drifted off to dreamland. However he had to return every two hours from this dreamland for fear he might forever be trapped there. Then the sun arose and Sir Andrew awoke to a brand new day. Still weary, but very much wise again he began to tell us all of his adventure. The adventure he spoke of is the story that I tell you here today. His story will valiantly live on in all of our hearts for all of time and it's wrath for we all love The Great Legend Of Sir Andrew the Wise and His Mild Concussion! (so true)

-Written By Julieanne May, Stephie Fegley, And Ashley May!!!

2005-07-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

tired...worried....can't sleep. Don't know if I should really be giving details yet. Don't worry like me, just pray unlike me. Specifically pray for Andrew. For all we know this could turn out bad or turn out to be a great blog story. Let's hope its just a good blog story. Love you guys!

Wow! That's a shocker! haha

2005-07-07T01:06:00.000-07:00

It's Like The Real World, Meets Boy Meets World, Meets Days of Our Lives.

2005-07-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

Thank You Relient K.

Seeing as how this Drama topic is getting so popular, I decided to post my thoughts. However, my own blog is taking a brief haitus, so I thought of initiating a guest post. Thus, I am here on Julies Blog.

In my own opinion, Drama belongs in a Drama class, where it is much more fun and less feelings are hurt. But that hardly matters, as it has a tendency to happen anyway. I have worked hard to remain neutral, but that also hardly matters as it now seems to effect us all, at least indirectly. Word has reached my ear of "Family Meetings" to arrange and discuss the topics that plague us. While I do agree with this idea, I also feel a little apprehensive, for reasons that I can't quite pin down... Perhaps it is my urge to avoid conflict....Perhaps I worry for you...

(sighs here) Do you remember the good old days, when life was so simple? Doubtless you do, and those days do not need my dwelling on them with nostalgia. O C'est la vie! Les temps, les temps! Savez vous les temps?

...Oh! Sorry, I was getting a little too philosophical. You have my apologies, and my regards.

~Dominus Vobiscum,
Sir Dann...?

Not about Hawaii

2005-07-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

This post is not about Hawaii but I really need to get some stuff out.

ugh!!! I am really struggling with my dad right now. He was a complete jerk in Hawaii and I have yet to forgive him for that. And now he has done something else. I don't know how to say it subtly and feel better after any of it so sorry I am going to come right out with it.

I have been planning on going to Krisann's wedding. I know that it could be difficult because its in Redding and so transportation and actually staying under a roof while I'm there might be a problem. My mom has constantly told me all that and it has really frustrated me because I have faith that it will all work out.

Anyways today I planned to start the process of finding a place to stay and some form of transportation. Well housing is being looked into and transportation is basically taken care of....I think. Well after all of this I found out that my dad told Sarah no to us going.

so I talked to my dad. It didn't turn out so well. Tears. I hate being an emotional girl. Well ok I don't hate it. But anyways I went up to him and told him that Sarah said we weren't allowed to go. I asked him why and he proceeded to tell me multiple excuses. First it was not having a place to stay. I told him that I was in the process of getting that all figured out. So here comes another excuse. This time it is "God told me no." Well I would usually respect that but I don't think my dad really listens to God. Every time I ask him to pray about something and he tells me what God said to him it always contradicts with what about 5 other people have heard. And these 5 people are people who I know listen to God. Typically they are TAG attendees. I was really upset and I began to cry, but he didn't know. I eventually got up to leave and he acted all shocked and asked if I was upset. And I then responded by saying "yeah. I can't go to my best friend's wedding." yes Krisann is one of my best friends. I have many but she is definitely one of them. He then acted shocked to hear this. Like it was out of the blue. Like he didn't know Krisann and I ever talk anymore.

It made me so angry!!! He knows that she is one my best friends. He knows I want to be there for her wedding. It only happens once!!!! I haven't seen in her almost a year. Last time I saw her was new years but I don't know if that counts because we barely even talked. I miss her. I want to see her. I want to see her wedding. I want to be there to support her. And I honestly can't believe that God doesn't want me to go. I am so angry and so hurt. I don't know what to do!! I want to see my Krisanny.

Hawaii: The Series

2005-07-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

Hello I am back as you guys can tell. I have decided to tell you guys all about the trip in short stories. I will write these stories when I feel like it. Goodbye!

I'll miss you guys!

2005-06-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

Man! I feel like I'm dying...Or moving. Lots of people are acting like its the end of the world. Well it just might be. Haha!

So yeah I'm leaving for Hawaii in about 6 hours. Actually I'm leaving for Hawaii in 14 hours and and leaving for San Francisco in about 6. Yep..I'll miss you guys. I have free nights and weekends and I won't be roaming in Hawaii so feel free to call and say hello, but I may not answer.

Right now I am trying to entertain myself. You see, Stephen and I had this wonderful idea to burn copies of all the C.D.'s we want to bring instead of bringing the original copies. Well I still have about 7 to burn and they take about 10-20 minutes each. I may not do all the of them. Oh well.

Andrew, Chris, and Ashley are all still here but we are mainly just laying around and Chris is sighing....Or was sighing. I think I am going to go.

Pray for me about all the family stuff!!! Thanks so much you guys. I really do love all...Or most of you since I don't truly know all the people that might be reading my blogs. If I have you linked then I love you if I don't well then I just don't know. haha! Ok bye bye now.

Oh and by the way...Don't you think it is kind of ridiculous that the blogger spell check won't even recognize blog as a word. weirded out! That was the thought of the day. Have fun with that.

Oh I have more!! I am going to try and fix my scrolly thing because I broke it. So check it out if its fixed.

Purpley-pink

2005-06-18T16:41:00.000-07:00

We just dyed the tips of Stephie's hair purple/pink!!! I will get some pictures up here ASAP. Love you guys!

An update!!!

2005-06-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

Oh where oh where has Julieanne gone? Oh where oh where can she be? Guess what!!! I'm back!!!

So today I was sitting there playing games on Pogo and I was pretty bored. Trying to figure out what to do. Plus I have been playing this word game on Pogo lately and within the past couple days I have been realizing that I am obsessed. If I see a sign I will start trying to connect the letters to make a word. And then when there aren't any signs I just come up with random letters in my head and play the game. So I decided today that I probably shouldn't play that game anymore.

So after I got tired of playing a different game I decided that I would check blogs because I haven't done that in awhile. In the midst of checking them I decided I would update my links because they highly needed it. And then I figure "hey! I'll just post on my blog also." So here I am posting!!! If you find anything wrong with the links please tell me!! Or if there is a blog I still have linked that is dead please tell me. Speaking of dead things. My xanga is dead. I killed it!!! haha! I'm only going to use that account for comments on xangas.

School is almost out!!!! Two days left! For some reason I am still stressing out. I have to go to school on Friday to take a test that I missed because of me being sick for a week.

I went to the doctor for my ear "infection" and supposed tinnitus (a scary ear condition where you hear random noises. Sometime you hear your pulse!!) and its all because I'm still kind of sick. He gave me some drugs. One to be, as he put it, an insurance policy if I get sick again and one to make my coughing stop.

It was really interesting when I walked in because they gave me some papers on their new policies and told me I am old enough to sign them now (my mom wasn't there). So I read them and really didn't want to sign them because I felt uncomfortable signing something so...Legal? haha! Then when the doctor came in he showed me my folder and asked if the birth date on it was correct. Well unless I was born January 7th in 83 I don't think that it was accurate. That's why they told me I could sign the papers. I was so happy when I realized I didn't have to!! The weird thing is that no one in my family was born then.

Today I got my pink slip for finishing driver's ed. This means that I can get my permit as of June 18th. I am going to be driving Sarah around. Even though I can get my permit in three days I decided to wait until July when I get back from Hawaii.

Hawaii!!! I am excited. Well kind of. My family bugs me a lot except for Stephen and Sarah. And I think my cousin is bringing a friend and so is Paul, my other brother. At least I can hang out with Sarah and Stephen!!

Family...*sigh* I don't know what to do. I love my Dad I really do. But whenever he's around I get so annoyed with him. I feel bad because I accidentally ignore him when he gets home from work but when my mom gets home I rush out to greet her. He notices this. And he gets offended really easily. My mom is always telling me how he doesn't feel loved. I feel so bad!!! But I just can't force myself to pretend I'm happy when he gets home. I love Wednesdays. And the reason is because I can sit at home and relax and my dad doesn't get home till 9 on Wednesdays. You think that I would love having a father that I can pray with. Well I don't. He always asks me if I want to pray with him. I say yes but I really don't want to!!! It drives me crazy to sit there and listen to him pray. And every time I talk to him about God and what I believe he thinks that its not biblical. He doesn't like the fact that I don't participate at PRCC as much. But it is because I am busy or most things are social events and I would rather go where I actually have friends and worship at TAG. I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty. Please be praying a lot for me. I'm afraid I am really going to hurt my dad especially since father's day is coming up.

So here's my post!!! Thanks for reading if anyone does anymore!!! I love you guys! Oh and I updated my scrolly bar at the bottom.

Hey!

2005-06-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

Anyone want to buy a $5 car wash ticket for this Saturday? =D

Bleh!

2005-06-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

Well I got better, but on Saturday I got sick again and I am much worse this time. Pray is much appreciated.

2005-05-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Please be praying for me. Saturday I woke up and struggled with what I thought was allergies and asthma all day. By about 9:30 my throat was extremely sore and it hurt even when I wasn't talking or swallowing. Becase of that I went to bed at 10:30 when I was hardly even tired. i took forever to fall asleep and then I woke up at 3 am. I tried so hard to fall asleep, but I was in too much pain. So i went downstairs and got some water which didn't help a bit. Then I went in my parents room to look for cough drops. In the process I woke them up and my mom decided to look at my throat. So she looked with the flashlight and announced that it was indeed swollen. So i went to my room and sneezed, tossed, turned, blew my nose, had three cough drops, etc. until abouit 4:30. I am still in great pain and didn't go to church because of it. There is a bbq at my house tomorrow and I really want to be better so please pray hard. Oh and you are all invited to come tomorrow. Its from 1-6. Love you guys!

A Flowery Song

2005-05-26T15:36:00.000-07:00

Beautiful day,
wonderful feeling,
this reason to sing,
psalms meaning songs singing praises all day long.
Joy fills the weak,
joy makes us strong.
Filled 'till we burst,
songs of praise to the God of the Universe.

Despite our selfish selves,
despite all loss of hope,
despite our lack of faith,
despite our stony hearts,
despite the waning moon,
despite the ebbing tide of how we think this world should be.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
praise Him all creatures here below,
praise Him above ye heavenly host,
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Gray rainy day, down in the mud for us.
Don't feel I can sing,songs to the God in control of the seasons.
But what's good and bad,
flow from the hands,
of the God with the perfect plan.
Filling us with joy, all of this will glorify.

-Five Iron Frenzy

Woohoo!

2005-05-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

Guess what? Well I have been wanting a guitar lately so I can just sit in my room and write songs to God. There is so many things i want to do right now so i can worship him in more ways. But anyways I have been saving money and waiting for God to give me the ok to buy one. Well he gave me the ok right after Haley called me the other day. Here's how teh conversation went.

Mom wants 10 dollars for her guitar.

What?

Mom wants 10 dollars for her guitar.

wait...she will give it to me for 10 dollars?

yeah.

oh my gosh tell your mom i love her!!

So yes now I am getting a guitar, but I probably won't be able to get it til tuesday. I am so excited though!!! Especially since Evan Earwicker now has all his music on his website! wee!

SUPER SNEAK ATTACK GUEST POST!

2005-05-25T21:23:00.000-07:00

Hi. This is Keri. This is Julieanne's new template thingee. Neato, eh?

Umm. It's bright and very FIF.

Hope you like it. More importantly, I hope Julieanne likes it!

Love you Julie!

love, Keri

2005-05-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

I am warning you guys now that I probably won't post for awhile after this. I need to do better about writing in my paper journal, reading in my bible, and just hanging out with Jesus. So I am taking a break from the blogging and spending that time with Jesus. If this post upsets you just go read Stephen's blog and I can gurantee that it will keep you more than occupied. Have fun with that!

Update!

2005-05-13T21:58:00.001-07:00

First of all...Kristy thanks for the comment it was really encouraging. Kenny...You just suck! hahaha! I am just joshing you! I never really got that term. Just joshing?

Anyways I am doing much better lately. I am doing a whole lot better with the friend I was struggling with. And I still feel ignored sometimes, but everyone also keeps making me feel extra special.

So I went to San Francisco on a field trip today. It was kind of boring except I did enjoy hanging out with everyone. I am really tired and tomorrow I am going to Six Flags. Oh and because I got back late from San Fran I missed a concert tonight. Andrew even bought me a ticket. Thanks Andrew! And guess what I won the raffle at the concert but Sarah and Andrew weren't there to claim it for me so someone else got it. I win something and I'm not there. Oh well I found it pretty ironic and funny. I am going now! TATA!

Roper Concerts.. Tell me if you wanna go with me!

2005-05-13T21:58:00.000-07:00

June 3-Orange County
July 30- Monterey...we would buy day passes for spirit west coast so it would be more than just roper.
September 3- Quincy

Freedom Feels So Good!

2005-05-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I confessed some stuff to Sarah that I have been struggling with forgiving myself since I was very little. I realized that I am not alone and that I am not as messed up as I thought I am. So on that note. God please do mess me up. But mess me up your way not mine Amen!

Compliment or Insult?

2005-05-08T15:28:00.000-07:00

What Homestarrunner.com character are you?

Strong Bad

You are a funny little character in a mexican wrestling mask that says "holy crap" a lot. You created Trogdor, the BURNINATOR!!!

What is one thing that God and Krisann have in common?

2005-05-03T21:02:00.000-07:00

They both rock! I am doing much better than the previous post.

I cried. Stopped. Held it in. texted Krisann. Got a call from Krisann.

by the way she's doing great. Except work is starting to suck again for her. She's getting moved to a new department without her consent.

anywhoo. I texted her asking if she could talk tonight. She called a couple minutes after that. When she got my message she decided to take her lunch break.

so we started talking and she noticed that her phone was close to dead. So we planned to talk quickly. She told me about school. Oh and she might be back from Cambodia in time for Jesus Culture. anywhoo! I started to tell her about feeling like I was ignored.

then I told her about my last post on friends. We talked slightly on how painful it was for both of us when we didn't talk much. Then when I told her about my current friend situation she didn't tell me how I need to give it to God. How God is there for me. Always listening. That stuff is awesome and its nice to be reminded, but I already know all of it. She really did encourage me though. She told me about the way God made me and how I am supposed to care for people a lot like that because I am made like that. Etc! I can't even tell you everything she said but it was so awesome. It made me cry more.

During this I prayed that the battery would last cause it would really suck if it died in the middle of something so awesome.

so we told little stories. Well actually I did. I told her about the ticks and how we bombed my dad's car. I also told her again that she is definitely remember for injuries. For those of you who have seen "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in one of the first scenes the guy walks down the stairs and hits his head. When I saw that I looked at Stephie and I was like "It's Krisann!" It was great. haha! So yeah I'm better. No longer emo!!! ha!

And finally the battery lasted for 25 minutes!!! Ha! God rocks! He kept the phone alive!!!!

Ok so maybe I am emo

2005-05-03T19:21:00.000-07:00

A couple months before Krisann left we got really close. Ever since krisann moved our relationship has been, or more like was, going downhill. I thought at one point that I would jsut have to give up that friendship and forget about her. Just move on. Well soon I discovered that I didn't have to and things have been getting better since then.

The point is that that was extremely painful. And now I'm going through the same thing but with another friend. I really really care about this friend. But I never see them anymore and if I do its a quick hug, miss you, love you, we gotta talk more, bye. So now those thoughts are running through my head again. What if I have to give up this friendship? I know God can restore it, but I just keep thinking that this is one of those friendships that won't be. I don't want to lose this friend, but because of high school drama I am. I don't know what to do. or actually its more like I know what to do but I don't want to do it. I know I should give it up to God. I know he'll handle it. But with the issue from two posts before I don't want to. I want to hang on to this friendship with all i've got even if it means more pain. I am seeking help, but I think the most help i can get is for people to remind me again to give it up to God. For some reason the more I hear that the more i hold on. I don't know what to do!

I am truly emo now. Two emotional posts one day after the other and one post is quoting an entire song!

More Than Useless

2005-05-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

First of all I would like to say thanks for the comments on my last post everyone. Second of all I would like to say that the song I am about to quote does not say I'm emo. I think that all of us think like this more than half the time. We NEED to stop doing that. I hope this song encourages you.

"More Than Useless"

I feel like, I would likeTo be somewhere else doing something that matters

And I'll admit here, while I sit here

My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless

So unwanted like I've lost all my value

I can't find it, not in the least bit

and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all

And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all

But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless

And when I think that I can't do this

You promise me that I'll get through this

And do something right

Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant

I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted

And nothing trival, that life could give me will

Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date bookIs packed full of days that were empty and now gone

And I bet, that regret

Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all

And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all

But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless

And when I think that I can't do this

You promise me that I'll get through this

And do something right

Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless

And I never knew I knew this

Was gonna the day, gonna be the day

That I would do something right

Do something right for once

I notice, I know this

Week is a symbol of how I use my time

Resent it, I spent it

Convincing myself the world's doing just fine

Without me

Doing anything of any consequence

Without me

Showing any sign of ever making sense

Of my time , it's my life

And my right, to use it like I should

Like he would, for the good

Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless

When I think that I can't do this

You promise me that I'll get through this

And do something right

Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless

And I never knew I knew this

Was gonna the day, gonna be the dayThat I would do something right

Do something right for once

-Relient K

Ignored

2005-05-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ok. I have been struggling with stuff lately (like most of us do) that I originally thought would be best if I kept secret. I figured that if I said anything people would be offended or worry that they may have messed up. So before I explain what it is I want everyone to know that it is nothing anyone of you did. It is just an attack that none of you contributed to.

Anyways I have been really lonely lately. I don't know. Just sometimes I feel like people don't really accept me for who I am. I used to really struggle with that at PRCC. I would see Sarah hanging out with everyone and then no one would really hang out with me. And then Stephie came. My little Stephers!!! But I still didn't feel accepted by everyone else in the youthgroup.

So my first time at TAG I was hanging out with Andrew, Les and Sarah a little bit. I was really enjoying it and then all of a sudden I thought "These are Sarah's friends. Don't get so close to them and then find out that they are only nice to you because they are Sarah's friends." Well first of all thanks to everyone at TAG for proving me wrong. You guys rock! I don't remember when I first realized that you guys were my friends, but when I did realize I was close to tears.

Then at the beginning of the year the friends that I am the closet to at school signed up for band again and I didn't. So they had all these new friends and I felt left out because these new friends didn't even bother to remember my name even after the fifth time they met me.

Well since then I haven't had too many problems with this, but lately I have been. I have felt ignored. When I am with a certain friend alone I am great, but then another friend I am close with comes and immediately I feel unimportant. This happens in about 3 or 4 different groups. I t really sucks. I know that if I really am being ignored that its not on purpose and the whole being ignored thing is probably all in my head.

Lately I have felt like I am getting closer to a lot of people and then this past week or two I have felt us drawing apart. I really hate feeling like this and I know I have the authority to rebuke it. But it is just one of those things that I grew up with and have had to deal with for so long that I can't let go of it. I know it sounds crazy, but its true.

So please be praying for me and also be praying for me to be healed from there stinkin' allergies. Thanks you guys seriously don't know how awesome you are and how my much you mean to me. I love you all!

What do You find while hiking that likes to attack Julieanne in packs of 15?

2005-04-30T19:50:00.000-07:00

TICKS!!! Yes I went hiking. And yes I found a total of 15 ticks on me. The first two were on my neck and then my stomach and than it was mass chaos from there. They were all over. I was freaking out as my dad made fun of me. I hate bugs. They are no fun. Luckily only one of them managed to bite me and it felt it bite me so we got it right away. Currently I am in that state where I feel lots of stuff crawling all over me but none of the stuff I feel is really there. Oh and by the way I am not exaggerating on saying that I FOUND 15 TICKS ON ME!!!! I actually counted them. Oh and if revenge of the ticks wasn't enough my dad and I lost my mom's digital camera. So goodnight and I hope tag was awesome for everyone and watch out for the ticks.

Link Problem

2005-04-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

Ok I need help. I have Steph(from Redding) and StephieJoy. I am supposed to have links for both of them but for some reason they are mixing. The link says StephieJoy but when I click on it it tries to go to xanga but then says its the wrong address or something. So I have two questions. Can anyone help me? And when did the links learn to morph?

2005-04-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ok I am sorry I have been so lame about posting. I just don't really feel like anything that has been going on is worth posting about. And if i do think it is worth it I am too lazy. Well I am only posting now because I updated my links. I moved some. Deleted some. and added a couple. If i forgot you or one doesn't work or it is extremely out of alphabetical order please inform me. So yeah that's pretty much my post. Oh and sorry you guys, but sarah and I can't hang out this weekend. I really hope we can go to TAG. You should all convince Sarah to stop missing school. OK have fun doing stuff.

Video Games

2005-04-20T20:34:00.000-07:00

On that last post I was actually thinking Kenny and Chris, but I guess Stephen works too.

2005-04-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

Does anyone want to take a guess at who I was thinking about when I saw this?

Thought of the Day

2005-04-18T17:29:00.000-07:00

"Would you like me to apply it for you?"

If that's not sad I don't know what is.

2005-04-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

You scored as Loner.

Loner

44%

Ghetto gangsta

25%

Geek

25%

Drama nerd

25%

Punk/Rebel

13%

Goth

13%

Stoner

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

And it mutated into....

2005-04-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

You're Creepy Go Away!!!!!

Rumors

2005-04-13T20:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you do everything you can to avoid them. Sometimes you seek them. But they make you question if you really know a person. A person you really care about and you just wonder if maybe they are just one of those people you stay away from.

Lord, I ask that you just sheild everyone's ears from the rumors that are flying around. Give us strength to not pass them on and to keep loving everyone the way we did before we heard the rumors. Help us to not assume things and to be the person that the rumor stops at. Amen.

Dream

2005-04-13T15:47:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the comments on the last post everyone. It was really encouraging to read all of them.

I had a dream last night and since I didn't make time to write it down, I had completely forgotten about having it by the time there was time to write in down.

I remember two key things, but one of them I don't remember what happened I just remembered it was a phone. And the other key part I don't believe I can share yet so I have to hold off on that.

anyways please be praying that I would see the dream again.

You know when you are little and something small and insignificant happens. When you are older one day you remember it. However you don't remember enough for it to even seem real. That's how this dream feels. It feels like I dreamed the whole fact about dreaming it.

Oh man that's confusing. Pretty much I really did have a dream, but I don't remember hardly anything. There we go that's much simpler.

Calcium Loss!

2005-04-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

OK! I really am not in a "posting" mood. But I will probably end up having a super long "novel" post.
Ok So TAG was awesome last week. Worship was really good at first, but then I got distracted (grrrrrrrr! emotions and homework!). So I was just sitting there "praying." When God reminded me that worship isn't about me its about him. Emotions have nothing to do with it. I told him "But look I'm 'praying'." He responded by asking if I would at least stand before him. So I did and I danced a little more. Then he asked me to go pray for Michael/Josh to be blessed. I did. Came back and worship was pretty much over. on to the lesson!

For those of you that weren't there Roger cancelled out on us again, but this time for a good reason. A family from Brazil was staying with him and the guy Batu (sp?) was going to Jabber at us. hahha. He pretty much just gave us his testimony and encouraged us to keep pressing on. After that he called us up for prayer. I don't quite remember what for, but I think everyone was up there kneeling or laying on the ground.

I was being distracted by so many things and finally broke down crying. I was telling God how I lately I have felt like I have been losing my passion and motivation for seeking after him. I could feel him holding me. He began to tell me how I wasn't losing my passion and that everything was going to be okay. I had just been distracted lately and he was going to take care of everything and I don't need to worry about thing. Then my attitude changed completely.

I was then crying because of how good God is to me. He does all this stuff for me and when he asks me to do a simple thing I ignore the fact that he even asked me. Then I go and ask for every little thing and he does it for me most of the time. Is that messed up or what? "Hey Julieanne. Will you...?" "What's that God? You better speak up. Oh and while your at it how about.....?" "ok. I will do it for you because I love you." that is soooooooooooooooooooooo screwed up. I feel like a worthless jerk just for acting like that.

So there I was crying and he once again assured me everything is ok and I have no need to worry. I am still useful to him and he's still going to use me. He still loves me the same.

He is so good to me. Then on Sunday at PRCC our pastor, Greg, asked if anyone had anything that happened the past week that they wanted to share and encourage everyone with. While someone else was sharing God told me to share about the night before. I was about to refuse when I remembered exactly what he did for me. So I said I would. Man was I scared! PRCC is a really hard place for me to step out so I was shaking.

Background information that some of you already know and some don't is one of the ways I sense angels. I sweat gold on my hands. God told me that I sweat a lot when there are a lot of angels around. And if I'm not sweating it doesn't mean that there are very few or no angels it just means that I'm not currently sensing them in that particular way.

So then I looked at my hands and they were incredibly sweaty. I think the most they have ever been. I showed Sarah and she got this look of disgust across her face. It was awesome! So I stood up and shared while shaking madly. Then I looked at my mom and she did the whole wipe under the eye thing to show she was crying (out of joy).

Then Dwight Fegley stood up. (this is the part where I get encouraged!) He told how his kids have made him so proud and encouraged him and challenged him to grow. Then he said how some of the other kid(d)s around him were also encouraging him. And he was saying how awesome it is that we are seeking after God and so on and so forth.

As Sarah and I were leaving early for Vineyard our Dad passed by us (he was heading to the cookie table to set up. That's one of the major differences between vineyard and PRCC. One has a cookie table the other has a bagel table.) He told me that I made him cry also. Man I might as well of made the whole church cry.

Summary: God is super awesome and my parents cry too easily.

So I hope that encouraged you guys and that you all have a great week. Spend time with God and listen to him. Really listen. Don't ignore him and be selfish and ask for nothing but "favors." Have an awesome week. I will see some of you at the conference Friday night. Wait, who will I see besides Ershmo and the Kidds?

And here's an extra little treat for completing this post.

2005-04-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

POST! test post? yessirre!

You ready to scream Steph?

2005-04-04T16:04:00.000-07:00

You scored as The Notebook. You have strong, passionate love like the notebook!

The Notebook

67%

Charlies Angels

42%

Legally Blonde

33%

A Cinderella Story

33%

Mean Girls

What Chick Flick is just like Your Life?
created with QuizFarm.com

Mucho fun!

2005-04-02T17:33:00.000-08:00

I gave up on the whole comment thing. I did do pretty well though. Well with the help of the cuteness. Stephie is the cuteness for those of you who are like Chris.

So yesterday was pretty interesting. Andrew and Katie and I took Will home and then went to Malibu Brew only to find out that they can't break one hundred dollar bills. Then we headed north to go pick up Sarah from her "boring video project meeting." Unfortunately we got sucked into a time vortex and it took about twenty minutes longer than expected to pick up Sarah. You know time vortexes are a lot like getting lost in the back roads of Atascadero with someone who fails to tell you that they know exactly how to get unlost until about the tenth time of saying "We're lost!!!!" So yeah then we went and got Sarah and headed back to my house for awesome hanging outness. Katie had to go to her grandparents' house at about 4:30 for dinner. Until she returned there was much boringness with watching the video games Battlefront and Chrono Trigger. However when the Katith returned there would be a fun car ride to pick up Les from Salinas.

When she returned, before we had a chance to go her car was stolen and it took forever to hunt down. Sarah and Andrew were the culprits. So we left and unfortunately got stuck with Sarah and Andrew. haha! Before we left Les was able to convince his mom to meet us in King City.

As we neared King City Les called us to tell us his mom was out with some friends and wouldn't be home for another half hour and then it takes a half hour to drive to King City from Salinas. However we were only ten minutes away from King City and really didn't feel like sitting there for an hour so we drove all the way to Salinas. We met Les at a hotel and realized we didn't empty Katie's trunk from all the boxes she has in there. So as Sarah, Andrew, and I hunted down a bathroom they pushed and shoved and surprisingly fit the huge suit case in. Then we headed off to Target so Andrew and Sarah could buy the much wanted CD Everglow by Mae. After that we headed on home.

That sure was an interesting car ride. There is such a thing as laughing too much, but I guess its a good sign if you are in pain from too much laughter. Les called lots of Katie's friends and probably scared them all. We then called Katie's future husband Jeff. No Katie is not really engaged, but she has known Jeff for about two weeks and we all think it is going great! hahaha! Katie and I were laughing insanely from all the chaos. Les and Andrew told horrific stories of Katie's gas and how they have seen eagles drop from the sky and entire fields of cows die from the deadly stench. For those of you who have not met Katie she does not really have any gas problem. I have heard her belch, but I have never heard OR SMELT anything near to a fart come from that most precious K. hahaha

As we got closer to Bradley we decided to drive through with hardly any gas. Les and Andrew tried to convince us that almost every building there was haunted. What a bunch of lamewads. We then continued on our journey home.

When we got into Paso we stopped by AMPM for gas because Katie's gas is not made for cars. hahaha. Les, Sarah, Andrew went inside. Katie and I had an awesome plan to leave them all. As we jumped into the car to do so we discovered that Les stole the keys. Lester you key stealer and liar!!!! hahahhaa! As we discovered this Les walked up to the car and we quickly told him to get in. He insisted that he drive and despite my protests she said yes. We went to McDonald's and got Lester some fries. After he asked where we should go. I said we should go pick up Sarah and Andrew. Les then began to freak out. Somehow he completely forgot about us leaving them, Sarah' request for her shoes, us throwing them out the window, and then us running over the shoes. oops! so we went back only to discover they had started walking. We didn't see them on the way home so we didn't pick them up. Katie then discovered all my reasoning for protesting against letting leg drive. She even said... Or rather screamed...That I am a better driver. That was fun.

So then we went back and picked Sarah and Andrew up after we discovered they weren't at home yet. Then we went and got Chris a Sobe at Food4Less. Then we hung out until about 1-1:30. It was mucho fun!

sorry for the novel. See you all sometime. Like tonight maybe?

2005-04-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

You scored as Sleeping Beauty. Your alter ego is Princess Aurora, a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty! You are beautiful and enchanting, and as sweet as ever.

Sleeping Beauty

69%

Cinderella

63%

Goofy

56%

Peter Pan

56%

The Beast

56%

Pinocchio

50%

Ariel

44%

Snow White

38%

Donald Duck

25%

Cruella De Ville

25%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

Comments?

2005-03-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

I am in a competition. The other people involved just don't know yet. So I am trying to get

the most comments. I have to beat the record. I believe the current record left Yonder is 35

comments on Sarah's blog for her heart breAker post. So please help me reach the record.

no permission to leave multiple comments . Hahahaha! Help me! thanks guys!

...p.s. no really comment at all....i am too competitive

Me Shopping till I drop? Not so much.

2005-03-24T20:55:00.000-08:00

Today was not a good day. My mom, Sarah and I drove to Costco and then went to the Pismo Outlets, Kohl's, and Walmart. I am not much of a shopping girl. It takes a lot for me to get into just the right mood for it. I have gotten a lot better about it, but it is still a very rare mood for me. Well I often can't find anything when I am shopping for pants so I get discouraged. And as I go through all these clothes I am going through all the pants I have that have holes in them. So pretty much I couldn't find any pants until the end of the day. I was trying very hard to appreciate the way God made me and see myself the way he sees me. However that isn't very easy in this world especially when you go shopping. Then you add to it that 2 out of 3 of the dressing rooms I went into had disgusting pictures of guys modeling underwear or disgustingly low pants. I didn't really enjoy that. I would walk into the dressing room and was like "Ah! Turn around!" It was terrible. So yeah not a good day, but tomorrow will be better! Stephen will be here and Sarah, Ashley, and I get to hang out after cleaning the house. See you all Saturday at TAG!

Testimony

2005-03-23T21:53:00.000-08:00

Hey you guys! I came across this xanga with an awesome testimony. Check it out! http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=MCZetaAngel

2005-03-17T16:41:00.000-08:00

You scored as Woodwinds. You're a woodwind player! Flutes, clarinets, oboes, saxes... You use nearly all of your fingers when you play, and don't quite understand what the problem is when others stare in awe. You have an amazing range and intense articulation patterns, but when played correctly, your instrument can blow people away. Just try not to hit too many of those high notes, yeah? Notable woodwind players include Benny Goodman, Kenny G, and Jethro Tull.

Woodwinds

57%

Auxillary Percussion

53%

Conductor

40%

High Brass

37%

Low Woodwinds

37%

Strings

33%

Percussion

30%

Low Brass

20%

Which musical section do you belong in?
created with QuizFarm.com

12 reasons why Andrew the Kidd and I will definitely go out!

2005-03-14T19:05:00.000-08:00

hahaha jaaaaaaykaaaaaaaaaaay! Yes Andrew I will stop hitting on you. And I know how you made yourself cry!!!!!

Anyways...TAG was awesome the other night, but I failed to see how awesome it was at the time. I was having a great time dancing with God (I was about to start waltzing with him!) and I had a great time just soaking in his presence. Then God told me there was freedom coming. I didn't know what for yet but I wanted it so bad. But there was something in my way and I didn't know what it was. It was driving me crazy. So then I made myself all depressed and I was crying and trying to hold it all in. I kept thinking about calling my Mom and Dad to have them come pick me up. At one point prayer was offered to anyone who wanted it. My spirit was excited because I really knew that I didn't want this and I wanted to be prayed for. But when I get attacked anymore no matter what it is I always want it in my flesh. Even if its pain, a retarded crush, or depression my flesh wants it, but my spirit knows I really don't. My flesh always feels stronger, but my spirit usually conquers. Unfortunately I didn't get prayer Saturday. I ended up calling my parents and then lying to everyone saying I was going home because I was tired. I apologize to anyone that I lied to. I already told some of you and I'm sorry I couldn't tell all of you in person. Anyways the attack was against my motivation. I didn't want prayer, I didn't want to go to church, I didn't want to go to PRCC youthgroup, I didn't want to go to TAG, I didn't want to hang out or anything. I wanted to give up. I have already gotten prayer and asked a couple people to keep praying for me, but now I am asking all of you. I know that wasn't the last of the attacks on motivation. I often get attacked on my fears that I will give up, throw away all of my beliefs. And just when I realize that I won't because I refuse to give up that is when these motivation attacks come again. So please be praying for me. I also had a really crappy day at school for no apparent reason other than I started the day off with being a jerk to Sarah. But as the day progressed I wanted to not do any of my assignments and just fail all my classes for the rest of the year. Yeah it sucked! So once again Please Pray!!! I love you guys! Keep on rockin' for Jesus!

Stalkers!?

2005-03-10T20:55:00.000-08:00

Yes Bobby...I'm sorry, but I someone more amusing to stalk. Except this person probably really thinks I am a stalker!! muahahahahhha!

So here's all the background knowledge you need. Haley and I have been wanting to meet Michael/Josh's brothers. I already know one and Haley doesn't or should I say didn't know any of them. There are two and Michael isn't exactly, lets just say, volunteering to introduce us. So we had to take matters into our own hands. Unfortunately we don't know what David, the one we both haven't met, looks like. That created difficulty. Until now!!!

Today I was sitting there in the first day of my Driver's Ed class being really bored. And the teacher was taking role and asking people about their names. I heard the teacher say "That's a funny last name. How do you say it?" The guy he was talking to said "Cornelus." <---spelling?
Immediately I looked and saw who it was. The lost brother!

At lunch David walked past us and I under my breath I said "Haley look to the right. Now behind you. Oh forget it." He had walked around a corner and was gone. Now I had said it under my breath because I wasn't about to point at him and yell "look haley! it's michael's brother!" so i then explained the story of who he was and how i knew who it was.

later at lunch we got bored as usual and decided to go look for him so haley would know who it was. we found him and then accidentally i gave Haley the idea to go introduce ourselves. We argued, laughed, we crie... ok so no we didn't but after we mustered up some courage we went for it, but i forced haley to make the opening statement.

we walked up and he was turned around talking to someone and so we patiently waited behind him with him having no clue and all this displayed in front of his friends. he tunred aroudn and gave a little shout. he wasn't exactly expecting to little gigleing girls to stand behind him. so then haley spoke! (this sounds so dramatic) and she said "hey we know you brother michael." she then went on to explain how we wanted to meet them but michael wouldn't introduce us. and then i explained how i saw him in our driver's ed class. after a few minutes into the awkward conversation he pointed out that he had no idea who we were because we were so busy explaining how we wanted to introduce ourselves that we failed to actually do so. so we said our names, asked him to do us a favor, and said goodbye. as we were walking up i was gonna die of laughter and i figured haley felt the same way. but i didn't want us to come up to him giggling like love sick stalkers and walk away in the same manner. so i whispered "don't laugh until we get around the corner. don't laugh." so we got almost around the corner but out of site and we bust up laughing. it was so funny.

the favor was for him tonight to call michael by his nickname josh. yes michael we are david's "sources." now we didn't explain the whole josh story and its not exactly obvious how you get josh from michael.

we then went to go hunt down michael and failed. but i'm sure we will find him tomorrow. the best part of this whole story is that i have to see david tomorrow at 7 am and not bust up laughing. and there is a second half to this story. a shorter second half but i have to go clean so stephen will think that we always keep the hosue spotless.

Dance With Me

2005-03-03T16:51:00.000-08:00

I wanna be romanced by the king of the ages
I don't wanna sing of a passion I've never known
I wanna get lost in the beauty of Jesus
To dance through the night around your throne
To dance through the night around your throne
So dance with me!

-Evan Earwicker "Dance With Me"

Every time I listen to this song I fall deeper in love with Jesus and I can't help but smile and feel that overwhelming feeling when God is telling you how much he loves you, but he's not using words. Ever have that happen? It is one of the best feelings. It is so overwhelming and you can't help, but cry and there is no way to fully explain it. Think about this. That feeling isn't even a quarter of how much God loves us. That is only a pinch! Not a big pinch that you use when you want to hurt someone :) It is the size of a pinch of sugar, which is not that much! God is sooooo awesome!

EEEWWW! Gross!

2005-02-28T15:26:00.000-08:00

I have decided to use my xanga for pictures and funny random stuff like that. This will be more serious...hahaha like that will ever happen! And...Chloe just farted and I think I am going to throw up!

Showers and what not

2005-02-26T15:35:00.000-08:00

I read this really cool mini-article thing the other day. It was talking about how we often stand in front of a mirror and say "I am too fat! I'm too ugly! This sucks about me!" we jsut stand there and point out all of our "flaws." but how do you think God feels when you do this. Have you ever made something and then watched someone stand there and say everything that is wrong about it. And they point out parts and say how crappy of a job you did. Doesn't that make you so angry and so hurt? So how do you think God feels when we do the same thing to his incredible artwork? He is the best artist I know, but he also gets the most criticism. So next time think about how God feels when you stand in front of a mirror. One thing that I have done is put pictures and encouraging things on my door. Originally i was going to hang a mirror there. But God was telling me that since I don't have a physical mirror there i have a spiritual mirrior. How cool is that? oh and don't think that the point of this post is to tell you "don't exercise or eat right or try to lsoe weight! Don't take showers! God created you that way so don't try and cahnge it!" If you got a beautiful painting and it started collecting dust would you dust it off? If something got spilt on it would you clean it off? So I guess what I am trying to say is don't criticize God's work(you), but take care of it too(eat healthy, take showers for MY sake!) I just wanted to share this with you all! have a good day!

Sand Dunes?

2005-02-26T11:48:00.000-08:00

Ok ok....I know that the link currently leads no where. I will try and fix it, but no guarantees. Anywhoo! No katie it didn't save any of our other posts :( all the more reason for you to come visit very soon! haha Last night I had mucho fun, but worship during TAG is probably going to kill me now. My youthgroup and I went and played capture the flag in the sand dunes for 6 hours in the dark! It was sooooooooo much fun, but those dunes are steep and the bushes are really sharp! I touched oneand my hand felt like it had a billion needles in it for about 5 minutes. and it wasn't little pricks from needles it was like jabbed into my hand needles. hahaha! Stephie...your eyes remind me of stars JABBED INTO YOUR FACE! Back to sand dunes! ok so yeah it was fun and painful and sandy and you could barely see peoples faces so that made it even harder. It was very amusing at one part because the guys on my team took off their shirts and they claimed it was because that made it easier to see who was on our team. But anyways one of them at one part got water on his back and he asked me "do you wanna wipe off my back?" i kinda paused and then just said "not really." steph says she would have screamed if i had done it. hahahaha! so yes it was fun and my dad didn't cheat and then betray me this year so that made it all the better. see you guys tonight! pray that I am no longer sore!

For the Hip Hop Side in All of Us

2005-02-23T18:47:00.000-08:00

First of all Katie and Sarah...I FIXED MY AUDIO BLOGGER! It got all discombobulated. Anyways I love this new David Crowder Band CD. Sunsets and Sushi for all! I know we all love this song and now its even more fun. I especailly love the high pitched background noise during the chorus. I don't know why, but I love it! Have fun! Oh and in case you didn't know...FOLLOW THE LINK IN MY TITLE!!!

Is this my farewell?

2005-02-22T16:20:00.000-08:00

I have a xanga! www.xanga.com/babylavabubbles who knows which one i will use more but i will at least keep my blogger for now because of my ahndy dandy links!

andrew loves justin timberlake???...yea

2005-02-14T17:01:00.000-08:00

Originally my title was going to be "Broken ATM's and Valentine Fun" But when I right clicked on the title bar it gave me a list of past titles and I just couldn't resist. So anyways here is the ATM story.

On Saturday, Will and I were heading off to Amanda's party and we had to go to the ATM. We got there and this lady who was using it turned around and said "Its not working." She then went around the corner to get help from a live, human being teller. Will and I looked at the screen and it said "Sorry! Machine doesn't work ,sending someone to fix, blah, blah, blah..." I was like "ok lets go to another ATM. " But Will said no and then put his hands on the machine and started praying in tongues. I laughed because I knew God could fix it, but I didn't believe he necessarily would. Silly me! So Will prayed out loud for God to fix it through his mercy and stuff started whirring. Random stuff happened...The money door opened, funny sounds were made. Then Will said to go ahead and try it. I refused because I didn't want it to eat my card. Right as I was telling Will the reason I didn't want to, the screen went black. Then the blue "how may I help you screen" popped up. We laughed and smiled and then used it and it worked. Even though there were no witnesses, there were people around the corner. And if u know Will then you know that he talks loudly and his voice carries even if he doesn't. There was no way for them to not here him praying. And they can't refuse the fact that for no apparent reason, other than God, the machine suddenly works. That was fun and encouraging.

Hahaha! I feel so evil! Today was amusing. Recently in the world of Paso Robles High School there have been many many valentine's day grams for sale. The most appealing seemed to be the ones where a couple people came to sing to you either "You are my sunshine!", "Going to the Chapel", or "Skidda Marinky Dinky Dink?" spelling? they danced to that one. So I called Andrew one day and was like we should send her one. Andrew's evil mind said more than one. So I did. But I didn't know what she had fifth or sixth period. So I asked her friends. Then I bought her one 1st period so I could see it. 4th period because our classes are right next to each other so I hoped to see her reaction afterwards. And then 6th because...I don't know! !st period my hands were sweating so bad because I didn't know how I was going to keep from laughing. So when they came in I acted casual and bit my lips and covered my mouth in the most unsuspicious way I could. Then the people said "Sarah May?" and the student teacher said "Should she stand up? How about you stand up Sarah?" So she did she turned so red! It was so funny! It was the reddest I have ever seen her. Plus she was wearing black so it stood out even more. Then she sent me a note saying "Andrew was soooooooooo behind this, I know it and if your apart of this. I'll go crazy that's what you were conspiring!!! OMG you!" I leaned back and glanced at her and she glared and evil glare. Then we talked after biology and I was laughing so much! HAhaha little did she know!! Unfortunately she saw me before 4th period and asked if she was getting this period and 6th. I told her no but she called me a liar and I am really bad at lying and so I confessed. It was great because she says she still turned red in all of her classes. Plus 4th period is the class that she always gets hit on in. It was pretty great. All my friends kept telling me that my life was over. And I said yeah but its worth all that and the six bucks! hahaha now comment!

Sleeping equals Dreams Try It!

2005-02-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

Well I have two dreams to share with you guys and if you get any revelation that would be great! Since I haven't gotten any yet. The first will be straight from my journal so if I say last night don't get confused.

1/22/05- Last night I had a very strange dream that was very scary at the time. I don't remember it all, but I will do my best. First it was me walking towards my house, but it wasn't my house. In the dream I felt like a complete stranger to the place. There was a lot of commotion outside and the front door was open. (Come to think of it now. I think it was like an orphanage. It was children and a couple adults outside, actually I think just one lady.) I walked inside and family room was pretty empty. No TV, HARDLY ANY CARPET, and one chair. My dad was sitting in the chair kind of out of it. Even though he looked like my dad, he was a complete stranger to me. He was sitting there with his shop vac vacuuming his feet. There was someone else in the room behind the chair and I now think that it was an evil spirit haunting him. I forget all what happened in between but the next thing I remember is that I was running with a boy down Katherine drive towards rosemary (streets in my neighborhood). We were running away. There was this group of people, who was his family, waiting to welcome us. Soon, his sister came and was running with us. She was really nice. We ran all the way out to Niblick where there was an R.V parked but still running. The door was open and we got in. The boy went to the driver's seat. I went to the table seat. His sister didn't sit. They explained to me the whole vacuuming thing. Some how it sucks everything out of your feet and replaces it with dirt, dust, carpet and padding materials, etc. Everything that a vacuum would pick up. The guy who looked like my dad had been "vacuumed" when he was young and now does it to everyone else for revenge. He had done it to all of them and I was the only free or "unvacuumed" one. Pretty soon we were joined by their Mom and little sister. Their little sister started screaming. Apparently she hadn't been vacuumed yet and that was what her mom was trying to do. Then they all turned on me, even the little girl, and tried to vacuum me. I escaped and found myself in a crowd of people outside the high school all walking one way towards Niblick bridge. The view I saw of myself was different . It turned out that I was a guy and that was the end of the dream. The people in the R.V. gave up on me because I escaped.

This dream is one I had when I was little. I have remembered it all this time and I finally realized it was from God. Well I was standing there timing something with a friend of mine (I think it was Jenna). Then a !huge! Crowd of people are running towards me. It was a race in my neighborhood and I thought I was too slow so I timed it instead of running. Then I look at their faces and they are all terrified. I looked above them and there was a GIANT eagle. It was nothing like a giant, friendly, talking eagle. It was pure evil. So we all ran and of course I thought I was too slow to make it to my house in time. So instead I ran into my neighbor's house (Hart's old house for Stephen and Sarah). I ducked beneath the window in the door and the eagle peered in. When we was gone I ran into one of the bedrooms (Nicole's). I hid beneath the desk which was below the window. The eagle came into the backyard and peered in through that window. He didn't see me and so he left.

My Highschool Nightmare!

2005-02-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have heard of my high school nightmare. You know the one where my cousin Laura comes down and lives with my Grandpa and goes to highschool with me. I have complained and objected numerous times and have been a complete jerk about it. I would like to apologize for my bad attitude. She is my family and I should be happy. I wasn't before, but I am now. The reason I was so upset was because I find my cousin annoying. Well the things that I find annoying about her are things that are just bad behavior and godly stuff. But if she moves here then Sarah and I can ministir to her and then God will change those things about her. Last time she was here she didn't bug me one bit. Most of the time I spent with her we were worshiping and talking about God. I apologize for my annoyingness!

2005-02-03T19:44:00.000-08:00

Ok today was a fairly good day. I got to hang out with my friend Courtney and we had fun being complete weirdos. In Ethnic Studies God taught me to keep my mouth shut. We watched a movie on these teenagers talking about their ethnic background. I thought it was really cool. Then I got kind of upset because this guy started talking about how he used to be a Christian and had a deep relationship with God. And when you have a relationship with god there is no room for anything like being gay. So he's not a Christian anymore because he's gay and cannot change the way he was born. That set me off. I felt so bad for him. He actually believes that he is permanently gay and was made like that and that he's not good enough to have a relationship with god. Well none if us do but through his grace,mercy,forgiveness, and love we can! Then they showed some people protesting against gay rights. And some of the Signs said "God hates fags!" That was it! I was sitting there fuming! I wasn't mad at the people who made the video or the guy who was gay. I was mad at the demons who lied to those people. And the people who passes that lie on. After the video my teacher asked ok what is your opinion of this movie. Then he asked us our opinion about the gay part. I was sitting there thinking "don't get me started!" I was planning on just saying "that guy was not born that way. And God hates the sin but loves the sinner!" but I knew if I said anything and if anybody contradicted me that my anger would come out. So god told me to stay silent. Man was that hard! But our teacher said we would talk about it sometime else when we all feel more comfortable. So that was fine and dandy and it was still a good day. But then I came home worshiped some and I started getting mad at Sarah for the stupidest stuff. I couldn't believe it. I knew I was being attacked and then I tried to explain some stuff to her and I ended up screaming at her. Well I have not had problems with my temper in about a year. And when I did have problems with it, which was often, the routine went: frustrated, angry, screaming, screeching, crying, screaming and crying, pounding stinging headache, beating myself up over the fact that I blew it again, crying, crying, crying myself to sleep, and waking up feeling like crap or crying crying crying, bottling it up until bed time, crying myself to sleep with a pounding headache, waking up feeling like crap. Well today when i was crying I realized that I was falling into the old routine so that makes me cry more. Chloe made me laugh though cause she came over and was trying to lick my face as I was crying. But then I came downstairs because my head felt like it was going to explode and it still hurts now but not as much. So pretty much the routine today went like this:frustrated, angry, screaming, screeching, crying, screaming and crying, pounding stinging headache, beating myself up over the fact heated I blew it again, crying, giving it to god, wishing I had someone to talk to, talking to Sarah, homework, etc. I broke the routine!!!!!! Even though I broke the routine and am very happy I still feel very vulnerable and I do feel like crap. My head and stomach are both bugging me and my energy is all drained out of me. So please pray for me. This is a long post. Adios